Yes ... i have moments when i still hate.

It is ridiculous .... but true ...

I've read a lots of books ... and i even have moments when i understand that ... negativity itself ... is actually a blessing.

But ...

Well ... i clearly know that the moment when i am under the dominance of my negative emotions ... i am following a pathless path.

... an ugly pathless path.

Today ... i hate seeing myself ... still hating.

And ... indeed i hate lots of people.

I hate ... X.

Y, Z ....

Yes ...I hate many, many people.

But .... I don't understand ... what is really going on with me.

Unfortunately ... i can't stop myself.

It just ... happens.

And .... hate itself is actually activated mainly ... by attacks on my Ego.

I know it.

I ... actually ... know it by a long, long time ... but ...

So ... most probably ... same as many others .... I am under

 

the total dominance of my Ego.

And ... nothing will change.

... cause it's too complicated to disconnect from the Ego.

Or .... maybe i can't accept that i just can't stay connected to my real soul ... the one from inside of me.

And ... ignore the Ego.

I continue ... reading.

I continue ... analysing.

I continue ... writing my thoughts.

Unfortunately ... on the stage of life i continue acting ... stupid.

The fact .... that i still experience hate ... is the clear evidence of that ... but ....

Well ... meanwhile ... i just pretend ... saying that .... i hate that ... i hate ...

Of course ... it's all ... a pathetic show of declarations ...

... cause i need to write.

Being a writer .... but ....

My mind is so, so stupid.

 

 

 

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... seen as un amazing trick for a beautiful life

philosophical & spiritual essays” written by the romanian writer Adrian Gabriel Dumitru for FREE.

 

 

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